He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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