so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Bring me that man meat
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
