I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
