she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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