Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I am naked and annoyed.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
