Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Alive.
So much puke
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
