Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
