im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
