She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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