dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
