you have to choose: penises or morals?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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