I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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