Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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