no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
