What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
