guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Someone signed my nipple.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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