His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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