it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My penis needs a shock collar
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
