I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
