i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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