he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize