So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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