Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
"it" just moved
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
