hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
