ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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