Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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