She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
