Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
