don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
