hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize