i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
