Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
