I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
