but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
