i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
