While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You may now shotgun with the bride
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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