Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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