If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I forget how to act sober
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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