Me. At least after what I've been through.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
