I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
