How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize