Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
