Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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