Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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