On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
