Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
