Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You're like the curious george of whores
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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