Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
