this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
PANTIES FOUND
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