Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize