I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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