Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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