Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
