Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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