i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
