You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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