i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
