The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
