And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
