i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
