So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
