how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
