Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
