Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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