just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
