Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
