and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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