I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
