I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
